Kyle Meyer, a resident of Halifax, shares his personal experience in this First Person column. He and his wife have often been asked about having a second child since their first daughter was born. The pressure to expand their family has been a source of discomfort, especially as they had always envisioned having two children for a complete family dynamic.
After their daughter’s birth in 2019, the couple intended to wait until she started school before planning for a second child. However, their journey to expand their family was met with challenges. In fall 2023, they faced a heartbreaking setback when a pregnancy was deemed nonviable during an ultrasound. The emotional toll was immense, leading them to pause their efforts for a period.
Despite the difficulties, they decided to try again and discovered another pregnancy in the summer of the following year. Unfortunately, they faced another devastating loss when this pregnancy also turned out to be nonviable. Dealing with feelings of failure and uncertainty, the couple took a break from attempting to conceive, only to later confront the added challenge of infertility.
Navigating through consultations and considering their options, they are slowly coming to terms with the possibility of not having a second child. The wounds from their experiences are gradually healing, but the journey has been arduous. Kyle emphasizes the importance of sensitivity when discussing family planning with others, as the topic can unknowingly reopen deep emotional wounds related to miscarriage and infertility.
Their story reflects a common struggle faced by many couples, with statistics showing that about one in six Canadian couples experience infertility. Kyle urges people to be mindful of the impact of their inquiries about others’ family plans, as these questions can stir up painful memories and emotions.